Hi Meghan, this is some stuff I came up with maybe bullshit, but it is the essence of stuff I have learned over 50 years of life and loving women. Just sayin, ,I really appreciate your honesty. How to Please A Woman: What Women Need.

One Man's Reflections.

Have a sense of humor. Not into drama. Do not invalidate. be very discreet. Love cinema, fires on the beach, warming cold feet, massages, essential oils, good toys, walking on the beach. Gifting. Giving foot massages. Making an omelette, (the right way) Watch old movies, listen to good music, make a woman laugh. Do not try to convince her to watch The Three Stooges. Be Chivalrous, ask what a woman likes ,send flowers. (and not some cheesy flower bowl. good chocolates if she prefers. It's simple enough to find out what she likes. First, ask if she is allergic to Roses and what kind of chocolate she likes. You would be surprised how many things are deleted from a list if a woman is allergic. If it's Wildflowers. (Highlight 'Wild' it's easy enough to write some prose on a card around that theme. What is her favorite perfume? Pheromones are real after all. We are all sexual creatures and body chemistry is fucking intense. Never forget the color of her eyes. You'd be surprised. Never ask stupid questions during lovemaking. Really Dumb. In fact ,don't say anything but encouraging sensual, sex talk. Always validate and never criticize. Be on time, or early. If you are going to be early, I recommend 15 minutes ,let her know. Some of my favorite memories are around getting there, while she is still not fully dressed. There is something totally fucking ,sexy about her asking, 'Can you zip me, please?' Respect her safe zone and her need to be alone at times. Never, NEVER! ask about previous lovers. Encourage her creativity. Try to always match her passion. No lying. Be totally honest about your sexual needs. Be totally willing to match hers. Respect her History. Listen and respond, even if it is "I don't' know." Not being a fake or a poser. Respect her beliefs, If you cannot or, want to invalidate, leave. If you are ignorant about something important to her, do some research. It's all there. On your phone, dummy. No lectures. Women really hate lectures. (Strange thing is ,dudes will spend hours playing video games or researching tech stuff yet maybe 10 minutes on finding the right gift for his girl) Be willing to go the extra mile to please her. Honor her questions with the truth. Do not take her for granted. Try always to be available when she has needs. Be willing to hold her and, nothing else. Stroke her hair and gently rub her neck. Whisper her name during sex. Be honest when you are feeling insecure about being able to satisfy her. Trust me, she will respect you for that. Don't leave the room when she is speaking to you. Don't say 'Uh-Huh" and try to deflect the fact that you were not paying attention. Don't treat her like she is stupid. This is a really big one. Be gentle or rough ,it's her call. Don't think Porn has anything to teach you about erotic, intimate lovemaking. It does not. Don't buy her lingerie 'for you'. Ask her what she would like. Women need to know they are cared for. Especially, very damaged women need to know that, though they do not necessarily, know how to ask for it. Sexual trauma does long term damage. Accept her baggage because, if she cares for you, she will accept yours. Women can be so generous. Don't believe the macho image of a man is correct. The real man holds his woman when she is scared or feeling threatened. He reassures her and tells her, "it will be alright." Stop pretending to be tough. If she cares for you, she won't care. Just protect her. Keep her safe. Do not dishonor her with false promises. Restrain yourself during sex and be sure she is getting what she needs. Ask her. Women will be very honest about their sexual needs. Be willing to research stuff like: G-spot, digital stimulation, clitoral stimulation, with your tongue, the best sex toys, Vaginal and anal stimulation. Look this stuff up. It's all there. No excuse for ignorance anymore. The more you know, the more you will be rewarded. Relationships go way beyond fucking. Don't ever force an issue in bed. Learn to give real massages. Ask her what really 'turns her on.' It could be as simple as a dude who is willing to fix her breakfast 'the morning after.' (Learn to cook dummy.) Now, tell her what turns you on. Know her scent. Savor her taste. It's all about pheromones. Chemistry is real. We are sexual creatures by nature. Difference between us and animals we, get to choose. Even if one is successful in hand picking suggestions from this list, it will go better during sex, for sure. This is advice and also reminders to myself. It is impossible to cover everything and, every woman is different. I did many things wrong and some really counter productive shit. However, where there is no self reflection, there is no self restraint. A man who cannot see himself, will never truly see his woman.